Friends

God has truly blessed us with some deep and enduring friendships. We've been there for each other for the births of babies (and now a grandbaby!) You've been there when our marriage struggled. We've been there for one another during the hard years of setting up businesses and practices. We've walked through the "raising teenager" years. And we've celebrated together as our children have married. We're now in the stage of holding and hugging one another as we say goodby to parents moving to Heaven. When we've struggled through illnesses you've visited and prayed with us. Through all of these life stages we've never felt alone. When we moved to Tyler, Texas, Tom and I had no idea what blessings God had in mind for our family. He has overwhelmed us with the joy of loving and being loved by so many friends. We also have been blessed to make friends wherever we go. All around this world we have touched and been touched by others who have become our friends. We see some of our friends almost daily. Some we only see maybe once a year or every few years. Thanks to email and cell phones we can touch base almost any time (although we haven't always been good at that). Friends take work. Some of our friendships have lasted because we committed to meeting regularly (like Birthday Club and Men's Group). The deepest ones have lasted because we never expected much from each other yet made the effort to intentionally stay connected. Our friends come along side. Sometimes that is simply all you need. Someone on your side - beside you. To our friends - we thank you - thanks for loving us when we have been unloveable and thanks for living with us through thick and thin we really couldn't do it without you - we certainly never want to try!

Julie's Birthday Club - started in our 30's...we knew other women who were doing this on a monthly basis but we wanted our club to be somewhat different - not just celebrating each other's birthday but committing to pray for each other as well. We started because birthdays aren't always wonderful for women - husbands try and so do kids but there's something about having a group of girlfriends who give you their undivided attention and make sure to fix a lunch you love (that you don't have to clean up afterwards) and give you a gift you actually want. It took the heat off our great guys and fabulous kids - we could stop complaining when they didn't come through because we knew without a doubt at least the Birthday Club would. When we first started we met in restaurants but when waiters spent more time lingering and listening to our conversation we pretty quickly moved the luncheons to our homes. We talk about everything - when we started we talked a lot about sex (remember we were in our 30's) now we talk more about our health - we've cried together but every luncheon is more than filled with laughter. Sometimes a husband will drop by to supposedly eat leftovers but secretly I think they just want to vicariously soak in our laughter. It's been a safe place to just be ourselves - to bring the scary diagnosis - to share the photos of vacations - to laugh over our failures, our fantasies and our dreams ("Potsie") we'd never share with others - to encourage one another in marriages and careers and mothering - to freely give advice and just as freely let it go if the advice isn't taken - We've nursed babies and we've nursed fears. We've ebbed and flowed throughout these years.

Back Row (Left to Right): Lucy Carr, Eugenia Son, Callie Northcutt

Front Row (Left to Right): Julie, Louise Arnold, Gina Ramey, Jane Rogers

Tom's Men's Group - also started in his 30's - a group of men dedicated themselves to meeting weekly to study the Bible and pray for one another. Through the years the studies have sometimes been books on different issues sometimes it's just been to discuss relevant topics. But the main point is they have continued to meet and continued to pray. Their wives and children know this group faithfully prays every Wednesday, all year, every year. They've met in offices but more often in homes. They've seen each other through scary situations and through exciting celebrations. There have been losses but the gains and blessings have outweighed the pain. There's been an abiding faith in each other as friends and that has flowed down through their families. Each family knows that if one of these men were to falter or die the Men's Group would be there to fill in where needed. We laugh and joke about being pall bearers but in reality there is a deep comfort in knowing we don't carry our burdens alone nor do we share our suffering in silence. Unlike women, men don't always express how they are feeling but without a doubt these men will share a look between one another that expresses beyond words how much they care and love and uphold each other.

Back Row (Left to Right): John Berry, Elam Swann, Tom, Bill Blomdahl

Front Row (Left to Right): Gary Hodge, Bryan Rossman (not pictured: Trey Yarbrough)

Sometimes others have asked us through the years what our secret is to making and keeping friends. To tell you the truth, I am not totally sure. But I do think one important ingredient is to be intentional. Sometimes friends will walk in the door (like Jane Rogers did when she welcomed Julie as her neighbor) but after that you have to be intentional about meeting them, calling them, writing them, including them. Friendships don't just happen - they evolve and they take some "watering" (as our friend Bruce Carter calls nurturing). Friendship also needs acceptance, patience, forgiveness and love. Some of the oldest friends I have are from my childhood. These three women have known me the longest. They have seen me at my absolute worst and hopefully at my absolute best. What I know deep within my soul is that my best friends don't expect very much from me and yet I can pick up the phone and they are there for me. Thank God they didn't keep me forever defined as I was in my youth. Thank God they have growing old along with me - I don't know if the best is yet to be (there have been some pretty great times together) but since I know we will share eternity I 'm counting on it!

"Best Friends Forever"

Julie, CeCe (Lumpe) Haden, Becky (Hunnell) Smith & Tracy (German) Meehan